Omega Fatty Acids (Such as fish oil, flax and other vegetable oils such as sunflower, sesame, evening primrose). They are anti-inflammatory, hormone balancing, heart, hair, and skin healthy.
Coconut Oil: A medium chain fatty acid that is anti-fungal, anti-viral, and anti-bacterial.
Beets: They contain antioxidant components that inhibit Cox-1 and Cox-2 naturally without the side effects of drugs in this category that have been taken off the market, such as Vioxx and Bextra.
Homeopathic Arnica Montana: This can be placed under the tongue every 1-2 hrs after surgery, a fall, any injury, etc. to prevent bruising. As long as we start as close as possible to the event, within 72 hours. I have seen magic with using this! Some folks add the little pills to water bottle and drink it all day long as well.
Though Valentine’s Day is past, I want to make a case for sharing it every day. I am by confession a hopeless romantic, and recognize as I look into the eyes of my beloved Jakob, and those of my twin grandchildren, Stella and Xander, that love IS all there is.
Having said that, it is quite a challenge when we do not love ourselves, and honor all those parts that we find unlovable or not-enough. May I make a case for our ‘enoughness?’ For nigh on 65 years I struggled with self-love. I never realized that for all those many years I was asking others outside myself to love me, to validate me, to approve of me. And if they didn’t, I was crushed. Finally, one day, after a meditation, I awoke to realize that it was ME WHO NEEDED TO LOVE ME. Ah, what a concept, eh?
And when I finally got to fill up my own tank with delicious love gas, I had an abundance to give away. Each day when I get up, empty a full bladder, sit and meditate, go to the gym, then consume my superfood shake with yummy nutrients, I am then ready to go to my practice and listen with an open, loving heart, to my beautiful goddesses who come to learn.
And what they learn is what I have just told you: before starting the day nurturing everyone else, fill up your tank first: this is not narcissistic, selfish—this is essential to run your life with grace and authenticity. Then the partner or child that lives with you who is struggling with their own enough-ness, when angry or unappreciative of something that you do—you can love them anyway and realize it is about them and not your stuff.
I have some platitudes that serve me well that I will share with you, as well as some precious quotes :
- Do you want to be right, or happy? Righteous indignation is OK for a while, but after a time it eats your soul and hardens your heart to what really matters
- Never go to bed angry: anger is a propelling emotion to help us get out of the molasses and paralysis of depression, but after a while it turns our heart into a stone that is difficult to melt
- Have a gratitude journal, writing down at least 3 things daily that you love about:
- Your Mate
- Your Work
- Your children/grandchildren
“I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the shining light of your own being.”
“When we rediscover love, it will be like discovering fire for the second time.”
Teilhard de Chardin
Love is not only a feeling of contentment, joy, knowing we have a connection with someone, but very importantly– touch. As a gynecologist immersed for years in the pelvis, and welcoming little beings into the world as I was privy to the sacredness of birth, I learned to see the power of our bodies in sharing intimacy. When we love ourselves enough, we develop the discernment into sharing with someone worthy of us. Before I got that piece, I did not know how to create boundaries and honor the sacredness of my body.
Let us remember that preventing pregnancy is the responsibility of both partners: men and women. This concept is alien, for the past 50 years that I have been in the healing arts, women have been held responsible for this challenging task. Women go for birth control pills, get Depo Provera injections, have hormone impregnated IUDs inserted into their uterus, have hormones implanted under their skin.
All of these techniques have risk, can cause hormonal and emotional side effects, blood clots especially in smokers, however low the risk of pregnancy. Such a trade-off! Safer though with a slightly increased risk of pregnancy, are condoms (which I encourage my ladies to carry with them—and the ONLY ways to prevent sexually transmitted diseases including HIV), diaphragms, cervical caps, and of course abstinence.
My gay patients have the advantage of not needing birth control, and couples where erectile issues can happily pursue outside sex.
I personally loved my diaphragms during menstruation. Doubling safety is using a condom and a diaphragm.
Please resist hormone-impregnated condoms or inserts because the spermicide is a carcinogen and directly absorbed through our beautiful vaginas into our circulation.
Surgical procedures to prevent pregnancy are generally permanent, and they too, have downsides. We know, thanks to John R. Lee, MD, who dove deeply into the very literature that doctors site as reasons to justify or refute a procedure, that women who get their tubes tied, burned, clipped, produce 50% less progesterone than women who have not had the surgery, inviting hormone changes and menopause earlier than would be expected.
Simpler, done under local anesthesia instead of general which is necessary for female sterilization, is a vasectomy, performed on the male in his urologist’s office. Some cultures believe that this procedure changes a man’s ‘nature,’ depriving him of his sexual prowess and libido, but this is truly myth. My personal feeling is that this form of permanent birth control is perfect for committed relationships where fear of pregnancy is so great, and condom failure may have been an issue. At the risk of sounding like a feminist, I feel strongly that after a woman has been pregnant, nursed her young, and often struggles postpartum with multiple physical and emotional challenges regaining her balance, it is time for her partner to step up to the plate and do his part for the relationship.
Sharing responsibility for care-free intimacy is a win-win for both partners, and can enhance more frequent and joyful sex.
…and remember what Dr. Oz says: sex at least twice weekly prevents cancer!